The Hiccups
by angelicakes
Summary: What happens when Osaka really DOES give the hiccups to everyone? Short oneshot.


Miss Yukari was suffering the last few minutes of her class at the front desk: Her desk. She yawned, and after scribbling one last word on the chalkboard, collapsed onto the surface of her desk.

"Forget it!" she wailed dramatically. "Forget it! It's only 2 more minutes until class is over! I'm starving!" She gave out little moans of the "pain" she was experiencing. The class was thinking, _what a pathetic English teacher we have_, but were secretly glad that Language Class was almost over.

Tomo, having all the free time in the world, grasped the pen that was on her desk between her fingers, and poked Yomi in the back with it. "Psssst, Yomi."

Yomi tried to ignore her, as difficult a task that was. "Pssssst, Yomi! Pssssssst!" Finally, Tomo got sick of trying to get her attention the easy way, and pounded Yomi straight in the back, creating an odd glitch in her voice. The hyperactive Japanese student stood up out of her seat, pointing at the surprised Yomi.

"YOMIIIIII! LISTEN TO ME!" she hollered at the top of her very large lungs out of her even bigger mouth. The whole class stared at the two, and silence filled the room. The clock's ticking sounds emitted through the ear-piercing silence. Finally, to everyone's relief, the lunch bell rang.

In the hallway, the six friends walked across the clean, well-swept floors to the cafeteria. People passed by normally, some people who were in the recent English class giving Tomo odd glances. Then again, they usually did that on a daily basis.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Yomi grumbled angrily at Tomo, trying to avoid eye contact.

"I had to tell you something very, very important." Tomo's face grew serious. So serious, that it almost shocked the other 5.

"Well, fine, you can tell me now," Yomi said, still very annoyed. She gave an impatient sigh.

Tomo whispered something very blunt into Yomi's ear, the "important message." Suddenly, the halls grew very lively with Yomi chasing Tomo around, obviously pissed off to the extreme. That created a lot more curious stares from onlookers, but that was nearly normal too. 

The rest of them simply stared with no signs of amusement, since this happened on a regular basis. However, they did wonder what Tomo could have told Yomi that would make her go on such a rampage.

"Look, we're here!" Chiyo piped up, pointing to the cafeteria. Osaka clenched her fists.

"I'm gonna beat it, she said, determined.

"Beat... what?" Kagura asked, clueless.

"My juice." She narrowed her spacey eyes.

"Your... juice?" Kagura said, furrowing an eyebrow. It was obvious she was thinking in that tiny brain of hers, 'Uh-oh, _Osaka's being an idiot again_.' She held her breath, listening to what more the other idiot had to say.

"Yeah. I'm gonna finish it in record time!" She pulled it out, popping it open. Chiyo was about to stop her. "No, Miss Osaka, those can give you..." But she was too late, Osaka had chugged the whole thing down in only 5 seconds, which was pretty amazing for such a slow-minded student who fell asleep nearly every class.

"That will give you..." Chiyo was interrupted by a loud hiccup. Kagura rolled her eyes. "You really _are _an idiot!"

After that, she couldn't stop. Every 4 seconds or so, a hiccup erupted. Sakaki remembered how she got rid of them last time by scaring her with words of how she might actually be sick, having to go to the hospital because of mental problems instead of hiccups. She didn't know if it would work this time, but she would try anyway. She turned to Osaka, only to find her staring right back, constantly hiccupping. Osaka never blinked.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Sakaki asked nervously.

"What else am I doin?' Givin' it to you." She hiccupped again.

"You realize that's not gonna work," Kagura said. Until...

Sakaki gave a small hiccup. It shocked Chiyo and Kagura, and they looked at Osaka with fear in their eyes.

"Wh-what ARE you?" Kagura asked, her voice shaking with terror. Osaka hiccupped and replied casually, "I gave it to her, that's all." She hiccupped once again, and Sakaki followed with another one. Then...

Chiyo hiccupped. Then Kagura. It became so annoying, yet frightening. Kagura, Sakaki, and Chiyo stared at each other, scared out of their minds.

Tomo and Yomi finally got back. "So "hi" was all you had to say to me? Was it THAT important so that you would interrupt the class just to tell me hi?" Yomi growled at Tomo. Tomo giggled. "Funny, isn't...hic."

That was when Yomi realized that all her friends had hiccups at the same time. She shivered, and backed away.

"What the..." Now, this is the point where you'd realize, that it was almost impossible for all your friends to have hiccups at the same time, at the same rate. It was just not normal. Simple enough; it was common sense. Slowly, the hiccups spread across the cafeteria like wildfire. All you could hear were the small spasms of the diaphragm chorusing together. Everyone was extremely frightened and had no idea where this all had come from.

"How did this _hic_ happen?" a boy wondered aloud.

"I have _hic_ no idea!" a girl exclaimed. Pretty soon, Yomi was the only one remaining without the deadly, highly contagious hiccups.

"Join us..." Osaka droned. She hiccupped. "Yomi..." As for Yomi, she had never been more scared in her entire life, not even when Tomo inserted a batch of frogs into her bed while she slept. Her eye was twitching, she was shuddering violently, and trying her best to stay clear of everyone.

"Leave me al...hic." Too late. Now the entire cafeteria was hiccupping. Pretty soon, the whole school. Then, all of Tokyo. It ended up as all of Japan. Japan rumbled with the sounds of everyone hiccupping. And it was all because some slow-minded retard from the town of Osaka had decided to "beat" her juice today.

Well, that was my first fic! Please read and review! Tell me how you liked it! Don't worry, I don't bite... or do I:D


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